Dear KBall,
It seems the penguins were 2005's animal of choice. With March of the Penguins, the Coke commercials, and the upcoming animated movie, penguins have ruled '05 with an ironed featherless wing. My question is what do see in your krystal ball as the animal of 2006?
-B-Rad
Dear B-Rad
Your trend assessment is right on - penguins marched all over 2005 in a big way. KBall predicts that 2006 will be dominated by yet another bird - the owl. These cuddly, wise, and sometimes-endagered aves have a bit of a head start thanks to Harry Potter and the Tootsie Roll Pop, but 2006 is their year branch out (wink-wink) into the mainstream of fashion and movies. G-rated cartoons have already taken us underwater, into outer space, and even beneath the earth - um, hello, Pixar? It's about time you take to the trees goddammit!
Prepare to see more "Give a hoot, don't pollute" retro tees and punny "Night Owl" pajamas (perhaps with an "Early Bird" counterpart?) at Urban Outfitters and other hipster locations. But don't put down those binoculars just yet. The bird watching has just begun. Owls will not be the only flyers whoooo (wink-wink) will appear in 2006. Birds, in general, are starting to pop up on bags, jewelry, clothing, and even flatware. In fact, I'm gonna go out on a limb (wink-wink) and say that birds are the new black. You heard it here first.
Keep up the good spotting (wink-wink), KBall
Do you take issue with one of KBall's posts? Need dating advice? How about cocktail ideas for your Veteran's Day party? For fabulous answers to all of your dating, drinking, and trend-related questions, just email KBall at krystal-ball@hotmail.com. She promises to help you as best and wittiest she can.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Friday, November 11, 2005
Red Velvet If You Please
Roll Out the Red Carpet
Move over cheesecake. Step aside pumpkin pie. It's RV parking only on the bakery shelves these days. Chocolate cake, cream cheese frosting, and red dye - how can you resist the red velvet? You can't. And neither can anyone else. Red velvet is the new "it" dessert. But 2005 is not red velvet's first time in the spotlight. Though often associated with the American South, urban legend has it that red velvet cake was invented at Manhattan's Waldorf Astoria Hotel in the 1930s. The cake hit peak popularity in the 50s and 60s - they even had red velvet bake-offs (Why, God, why wasn't I born earlier?). But the 70s were not kind to red velvet - due to that pesky little link between red dye #2 and cancer. But the reinstatement of the red M&M paved the way for a red velvet return. And this time, I think it's here to stay. Um, hello Vermont? I need to speak to Ben and/or Jerry ASAP.
Seeing Red
From the chowhound message boards to Martha Stewart to Gilmore Girls, red velvet is getting shout outs all over the place. For those in LA, Sprinkles, Buttercake Bakery, and Doughboys all have excellent versions. Krystal Ball predicts that chains like that The Cheesecake Factory will get in on the velvet action any day now. And after the chains, come the supers. Sometime next year, expect to find red velvet in your local Ralph's, sandwiched between the angel food and the sock-it-to-me.
Red Herrings
Like any trend, this one is sure to spawn several cheap knock-offs (I'm sorry El DeBarge, but you'll never be Prince). Just remember: accept no imitations. LA's Jack and Jill's has something called Pink Velvet, but it's got no chocolate and no cream cheese frosting. Nice try guys, but I'm not buying it. On the Apprentice 2, one of the teams made Red Velvet Ice Cream, but the final product was raspberry and white chocolate flavored. I have two words for team Apex: shut it.
Red Handed
Don't want to waste time sorting through designer impostors? Why not just make your own? There are hundreds of variations on the recipe, but here's a link to one that's a good starting place.
Red-Letter Days
Though a popular wedding cake (Steel Magnolias, anyone?), getting hitched is not the only occasion for rolling out the red velvet carpet. Check it out:
Affix a few plastic spiders and tell everyone you donated a pint for the cause. Goes well with vampire and slutty vampire costumes.
Add some green food dye to the frosting to make red velvet cake merry. But remember: a little green goes a long way. You don't want guests to feel like the Grinch threw up on your serving plate.
Red Krystal
Okay, time to go prepare for my Vodkalicious birthday party where I'm serving- you guessed it - red velvet cake.
Move over cheesecake. Step aside pumpkin pie. It's RV parking only on the bakery shelves these days. Chocolate cake, cream cheese frosting, and red dye - how can you resist the red velvet? You can't. And neither can anyone else. Red velvet is the new "it" dessert. But 2005 is not red velvet's first time in the spotlight. Though often associated with the American South, urban legend has it that red velvet cake was invented at Manhattan's Waldorf Astoria Hotel in the 1930s. The cake hit peak popularity in the 50s and 60s - they even had red velvet bake-offs (Why, God, why wasn't I born earlier?). But the 70s were not kind to red velvet - due to that pesky little link between red dye #2 and cancer. But the reinstatement of the red M&M paved the way for a red velvet return. And this time, I think it's here to stay. Um, hello Vermont? I need to speak to Ben and/or Jerry ASAP.
Seeing Red
From the chowhound message boards to Martha Stewart to Gilmore Girls, red velvet is getting shout outs all over the place. For those in LA, Sprinkles, Buttercake Bakery, and Doughboys all have excellent versions. Krystal Ball predicts that chains like that The Cheesecake Factory will get in on the velvet action any day now. And after the chains, come the supers. Sometime next year, expect to find red velvet in your local Ralph's, sandwiched between the angel food and the sock-it-to-me.
Red Herrings
Like any trend, this one is sure to spawn several cheap knock-offs (I'm sorry El DeBarge, but you'll never be Prince). Just remember: accept no imitations. LA's Jack and Jill's has something called Pink Velvet, but it's got no chocolate and no cream cheese frosting. Nice try guys, but I'm not buying it. On the Apprentice 2, one of the teams made Red Velvet Ice Cream, but the final product was raspberry and white chocolate flavored. I have two words for team Apex: shut it.
Red Handed
Don't want to waste time sorting through designer impostors? Why not just make your own? There are hundreds of variations on the recipe, but here's a link to one that's a good starting place.
Red-Letter Days
Though a popular wedding cake (Steel Magnolias, anyone?), getting hitched is not the only occasion for rolling out the red velvet carpet. Check it out:
Valentine's - Red Hot Velvet Cake
Heart-shaped cake pans plus a few "Call Me" or "Love Ya" candy hearts on top and viola! The perfect V-day dessert for your sweetie or for sitting at home watching a "Cribs" marathon and sobbing uncontrollably, not that I know anything about that.
It's always so hard to find something to munch on while watching Mr. O'Brien blow off a few fingers. The answer is finally here: sprinkle some blueberries over the frosting to turn red velvet cake into a patriotic summery dessert.4th of July - Red, White, and Blue Velvet Cake
Halloween - Blood Velvet Cake
Affix a few plastic spiders and tell everyone you donated a pint for the cause. Goes well with vampire and slutty vampire costumes.
Christmas - Red and Green Velvet Cake
Add some green food dye to the frosting to make red velvet cake merry. But remember: a little green goes a long way. You don't want guests to feel like the Grinch threw up on your serving plate.
Red Krystal
Okay, time to go prepare for my Vodkalicious birthday party where I'm serving- you guessed it - red velvet cake.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Mail Kall: Fiona Apple Edition
Dear KBall,
Now hold on a second, blogmistress. I love your new postings (mostly the penultimate one, since I've never watched LOST), but I take exception to Fiona Apple making the comeback list. Hello? She's never had a bad album, she's never disappeared into oblivion because people didn't care anymore (the Free Fiona people certainly care...a little too much, you might say), and she's probably as much or more talked-about now than ever before. Granted, she's got stage fright so hardly tours, and she's got a no-rush Kate Bush attitude about her studio albums, but she's no Taylor Dayne. In fact, I suggest you switch Fiona's name with, say, Loggins and Messina. In Columbus, they had to give away tickets to that show last week. And one more thing, have you no Philly loyalty? Boyz II Men? They were ten times as good as any of the Boy Bands from the past decade. "Motown Philly"? "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday"? "Water Runs Dry"? Even "End of the Road"--I didn't love that one, but I slow-danced to it with my biggest crush in seventh grade, and I was in heaven that the song was a good five or six minutes long. Ah, middle school.
Looking forward to the next one, Khyber
Dear Khyber,
Dude! Fiona Apple hasn't put out an album in 6 years! She totally disappeared into oblivion...even though I will admit that she managed to hold on to a bevy of loyal fans. But come on! I'm sure even Kirk Cameron has a few diehards out there begging ABC to bring back "Growing Pains." Fiona needed a comeback...and she's getting one right now! I put her on the list because I felt she was deserving of a second chance. A Loggins and Messina comeback? Krystal-Ball predicts it's not gonna happen. You may be right about Boyz II Men though. I should have more Philly pride than that since I too have shared many a slow dance to their slow jams over the years. Thank you so much for reading the krystal-ball.
Mowtown Philly back again, KBall
PS: I like the soud of "blogmistress."
Do you take issue with one of KBall's posts? Need dating advice? How about cocktail ideas for your Veteran's Day party? For fabulous answers to all of your dating, drinking, and trend-related questions, just email KBall at krystal-ball@hotmail.com. She promises to help you as best and wittiest she can.
Now hold on a second, blogmistress. I love your new postings (mostly the penultimate one, since I've never watched LOST), but I take exception to Fiona Apple making the comeback list. Hello? She's never had a bad album, she's never disappeared into oblivion because people didn't care anymore (the Free Fiona people certainly care...a little too much, you might say), and she's probably as much or more talked-about now than ever before. Granted, she's got stage fright so hardly tours, and she's got a no-rush Kate Bush attitude about her studio albums, but she's no Taylor Dayne. In fact, I suggest you switch Fiona's name with, say, Loggins and Messina. In Columbus, they had to give away tickets to that show last week. And one more thing, have you no Philly loyalty? Boyz II Men? They were ten times as good as any of the Boy Bands from the past decade. "Motown Philly"? "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday"? "Water Runs Dry"? Even "End of the Road"--I didn't love that one, but I slow-danced to it with my biggest crush in seventh grade, and I was in heaven that the song was a good five or six minutes long. Ah, middle school.
Looking forward to the next one, Khyber
Dear Khyber,
Dude! Fiona Apple hasn't put out an album in 6 years! She totally disappeared into oblivion...even though I will admit that she managed to hold on to a bevy of loyal fans. But come on! I'm sure even Kirk Cameron has a few diehards out there begging ABC to bring back "Growing Pains." Fiona needed a comeback...and she's getting one right now! I put her on the list because I felt she was deserving of a second chance. A Loggins and Messina comeback? Krystal-Ball predicts it's not gonna happen. You may be right about Boyz II Men though. I should have more Philly pride than that since I too have shared many a slow dance to their slow jams over the years. Thank you so much for reading the krystal-ball.
Mowtown Philly back again, KBall
PS: I like the soud of "blogmistress."
Do you take issue with one of KBall's posts? Need dating advice? How about cocktail ideas for your Veteran's Day party? For fabulous answers to all of your dating, drinking, and trend-related questions, just email KBall at krystal-ball@hotmail.com. She promises to help you as best and wittiest she can.
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