The Adult Make-Out Party

Last year, prom parties were all the rage, and now trendsters on both coasts are asking themselves, "What new party theme will make me seem cool?" Not to worry - I have the answer! The next logical progression of this trend is to go back even further in our memory banks to...the make-out party. That's right, it's time for some junior high fun all over again.

Guest List: Singles only. Don't forget to invite your super-secret crush!

Location: If your parents basement is booked, any place with at least one closet will work.

Music: I hesitate to recommend slow jams for any purpose, but I think they could be just what a make-out party needs. You could go classic with Marvin Gaye, Luther Vandross, and Barry White, or you could drop the last names and go newer school with Maxwell, Sade, and Usher. If you just can't bring yourself to push play on the slow jams, anything popular during your middle school years is acceptable.

Activities: Spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven, suck and blow, truth or dare, standing in the corner feeling uncomfortable.

Food: Breath mints (the key to the whole operation), pizza, potato chips, gummy bears.

Beverages: Natty Ice, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Zima

Rules: To avoid turning your home into a biohazard, you might want to go with "nothing past second base."

What goes on after your guests leave is their business, but the adult make-out party is not about finding someone to go home with. It's about nostalgia for a time when crappy beer tasted good because you didn't know any better, when writing notes that end with - yes - no - maybe (circle one) was standard procedure, and when kissing in somebody's closet seemed like the most exciting thing that could happen.